Old or Just Older?

It's almost December. Then 2007 will end and 2008 will start. January come in. Then comes February. On February 5, I'll be turning 25. A friend of mine, who's also turning 25, said that she's still not at the marrying age. She and her bf are still "growing" or "maturing" on their own.

I can't say that though. I am already at the marrying age. Not because of the age, but because of the things I've gone through. I've experienced a lot, and I mean a LOT of things. Though not all of them were bad, my life had been somehow fulfilling and a learning experience. I'm happy now as a trainer and being able to sustain my lifestyle.

Somehow, I am happy, as I've said. But still, there are things that I want to experience and I want to feel. I want to feel loved and cherished. I've never had that in a relatioonship. I know I should not look for it because it will come. I know that there will be someone meant to for me. I know that I'd be in love again. However, I don't know when that will happen.

I want to have a love story like that in the pocket books. I want someone who would sweep me off my feet and who would be addicted to me. I want to dream of the same person every night. I want to fall for someone and feel a lot of conflicting things. I want to be crazy for someone again.

I want someone. Period.

I don't want to watch movies alone again, I don't want to eat in a lovely restaurant alone, I don't want to drink alone, I don't want to beg someone just to be with me, I don't want to laugh alone, I don't want to sleep alone.

Is it that difficult with my age? I don't look like a hag. I dress well, I have a good job, I put on make up, I am well-behaved, I have sense of humor, and I am generous. I know I deserve to be loved. But why, oh why, is it just so hard to find?