Cure for Depression

Is there a cure for depression? Like a tablet perhaps? So that it's easy to swallow. I don't like talking. It's hard for me to say something out loud now.

Well maybe I can shout but then again, I want to be alone when I do. Other people might think I'm crazy if they see that.

Guy Magnet II

There goes my weekend. *sigh* Can I just say that it's too short? I know everyone will agree. Well, it has been productive. I was able to go to an acquaintance's birthday celebration (no booze for me), send a boxful of toys and magazines, watch a good movie and go to a doctor for a check up.
I won't be really writing about my weekend. It's about being the "guy magnet" again over the weekend. So it started, rather continued, when I went to Marikina for a birthday celebration. I didn't really know where they live so i just rode a cab and asked the driver to take me to Marikina Riverbank. I guess I was really unlucky because I ran out of load. I just decided to call the gf of the celebrant through a pay phone in a 7 11 store to let them pick me up. While I was waiting for them, a guy started to ask for the time and he added, "Pauwi ka na?".
I just answered a short no and gave him an intimidating look.
"Saan ka papunta?" he asked again.
"To a friend's house." I answered with an irritated tone.
"Samahan kita? Ako pala si ... (I forgot the name hehehe.)" Wow! He's makulit. I know the that he wouldn't stop so I decided to wait inside the store.
When I thought that he was gone, I went out to wait. Then another guy talked to me.
"Saan ka, miss?" the taxi driver asked.
"May susundo po sa akin." I just gave him a direct answer because I don't want to deal with another makulit.
"Eh nagtatanong lang. Baka kako pwede ka naming ihatid." he answered. Whaaat?! He will be with another person when he would bring me to my destination? Scary! Good thing, the couple arrived.
There were some unlucky instances before we reached the celebrant's house (like car not starting). So when we arrived, most of the people were already drunk. There was this big guy who probably had a quarrel with his gf. Let's call him Shrek. He offered to take me home. I agreed because I thought he was trustworthy. When we were on our way, we decided to drop by the riverbank. I wanted to make a stop over because I was afraid that we might meet an accident with the way he was driving. We walked for a while and talked. But he tried to make his move on kissing me. Luckily, I was able to duck. What a jerk! We were talking about his gf and how a family must stay together and he tried to do that? And he didn't stop there. He still tried for the second time. I couldn't just slap him because I know it will embarrass him. I want him to realize his mistakes, not slap him his mistakes. Then again, I guess I should have slapped him because he was already asking me to go to a motel with him. WTF! I thought Shrek was a good guy but I was proven wrong. He is an OGRE inside out. When he was being makulit on going to a motel, I bitched out and told him I'll take a cab. So he brought me home. But I guess he couldn't realize that I was already irritated since he still asked me if he could stay in my place for the night. I gave him one of my fake smiles and said, "Bye!". Then I crossed the street.
I guess I don't want to hang out with the group anymore. There goes my social life. The "guy magnet" doesn't have a social life anymore. It should have been fine if I just attract the good ones, but the unfortunate Amor only attracts the rotten ones.

Old or Just Older?

It's almost December. Then 2007 will end and 2008 will start. January come in. Then comes February. On February 5, I'll be turning 25. A friend of mine, who's also turning 25, said that she's still not at the marrying age. She and her bf are still "growing" or "maturing" on their own.

I can't say that though. I am already at the marrying age. Not because of the age, but because of the things I've gone through. I've experienced a lot, and I mean a LOT of things. Though not all of them were bad, my life had been somehow fulfilling and a learning experience. I'm happy now as a trainer and being able to sustain my lifestyle.

Somehow, I am happy, as I've said. But still, there are things that I want to experience and I want to feel. I want to feel loved and cherished. I've never had that in a relatioonship. I know I should not look for it because it will come. I know that there will be someone meant to for me. I know that I'd be in love again. However, I don't know when that will happen.

I want to have a love story like that in the pocket books. I want someone who would sweep me off my feet and who would be addicted to me. I want to dream of the same person every night. I want to fall for someone and feel a lot of conflicting things. I want to be crazy for someone again.

I want someone. Period.

I don't want to watch movies alone again, I don't want to eat in a lovely restaurant alone, I don't want to drink alone, I don't want to beg someone just to be with me, I don't want to laugh alone, I don't want to sleep alone.

Is it that difficult with my age? I don't look like a hag. I dress well, I have a good job, I put on make up, I am well-behaved, I have sense of humor, and I am generous. I know I deserve to be loved. But why, oh why, is it just so hard to find?

to ink or not to ink?

A group of boys in the neighborhood asked me yesterday if I'd want a henna tattoo. Well, I didn't think twice about it. It's just temporary anyway and it's free. One guy made a drawing at my lower back and another did the inking. The result was nice. It was clean, no blots, and I didn't have any allergic reaction to the ink. They told me that they also do permanent tattoo for a very cheap price. They said that I all I have to do is find a design and buy a needle. However, that thing needs to be thought over several times.

I've thought of having a tattoo for three years now. I've searched the Internet for a good design. I opted for a Kanji character for fire. But when I think of it over and over, it seemed that I had more reasons not to get one. It's easy to get yourself inked, but it's difficult to have that erased. I saw my supervisor getting a tattoo and I could only imagine the pain just to get that. Besides, if my father and my mother will know about it, they would probably kill me. Getting a henna is easy anyway.

My Story

I am Anya. I am the other half of this site. I'm just your normal average girl with an average life. I work at an average-sized firm, earning just the average. I work 14 hours a day (7.5 hours if it's not a busy day which is not going to happen), 5 days a week. I had a normal childhood. No beatings nor instances of neglect. I have a normal family with a mother and a father loving each other faithfully, and siblings that you hate and love normally.

However, I have so many hang-ups. Many times I am depressed. Other times, I'm extremely happy. Well, you can say that I am manic-depressive. My life is an ordinary tragedy. Yes, a lot of times I want to surrender, but I can't. I need to keep up, keep things going.

That is my story. This is our blog.

Click here to begin

This story is nothing new. Two individuals from an island in the Pacific; he who left for greener pastures half a world away, she who stayed in the motherland. He works for a design firm in the US East Coast; she's a researcher for an educational publishing company back home. They met online and discovered a mirror: two individuals leading separate lives but sharing the same passion to discover new experiences.

Two fast. Two curious. These are our stories.